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What's Your Word?

1/5/2020

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Rachel Gray Photography
​CLARITY is alignment.
Clarity is a clear impulse of where to go.
Clarity is trusting the path.
Clarity is not standing in a wobbly place.
Clarity is that momentum that has no resistance, and when you’re in that place of clarity, the feeling of what to do next is right there.
​~Abraham Hicks
Feeling out of alignment with yourself is an extraordinarily tough place to be. If you've ever found yourself in this space, you know the struggle that comes with it. Personally, I've dealt with doubt, fear, confusion, depression & anxiety, just to name a few. Carrying around those feelings made life feel very blurry and I often doubted my purpose. Going forward, I am embracing the past uncertainty and choosing to believe that there is purpose in struggle and that maybe, my setback was actually a setup to help women in a deeper, more profound way.

As a makeup artist, I’ve always been inspired to help women transform through beauty but, something about my personal journey over the past two years has stirred my soul to be more authentic and open rather than perfectly polished.

That said, I've chosen to frame 2020 around a word that represents a state of being I aspire to as well as one that seems to keep popping up for me (which I'll take as a nod from the universe). Clarity is my guiding word for the year and I am determined to create this year with that at the center. 

Have you chosen your word?
What do you want your life to look like this year and how do you need to show up for yourself so you can have CLARITY on your life’s vision?
Once you declare it, watch how it manifests in your daily life.
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Happy reNEWal Year!

1/3/2020

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Friends, its’ been a while!
I’ve gotten messages from a few of you reaching out to see where I’ve been & if everything was okay. I’m happy to report that yes, everything is okay but, I’ve been dealing with a shift that I didn’t quite understand. I felt different, noticing mental & physical changes, and a sense of growing disconnection from myself. I’m a person who exercises at least 4x a week and most of the time, I eat a balanced diet. I have a wonderful marriage & family life and truly great friends that I love. I’m a positive person with a sense of purpose and a constant drive to be better than I was yesterday. I say all of this because everything I was feeling didn’t align with my lifestyle or who I was.

I was exhausted all the time. 
I didn’t want to socialize.
I was losing focus. 
Anxiety crept up in strange ways. 
Weight gain & digestive issues appeared.
My skin was itchy & sensitive. 
I felt ambivalent, depressed, joyless.
“It feels like I put on a really heavy coat that I can’t take off,” was how I described it.
And then, I felt an occasional surge of heat.

​Some of you reading might know what I’ve just laid out. For the rest of you, allow me to introduce #perimenopause . With over 40 known symptoms, the only one I really knew of was hot flashes. I felt so frustrated because I could tell you anything you needed to know about the child bearing years and here I was at 48 aware of ONE often exaggerated symptom of the next phase. I had no idea about the “pre” phase, what age it might show up at, how long it lasts and the many ways it reveals itself.


So, why am I sharing? 
I believe in the sisterhood of women & the notion that we are here to help one another. I remember how isolating & shameful the postpartum phase was for me nearly two decades ago & I don’t ever want myself or another woman to feel that way about anything. I’ve come to the conclusion that the social world needs us “women of a certain age” to show up, educate & support one another while shutting down the BS stigma that we should quietly slip away with our youth.

With that, I wish you all a HAPPY reNEWal YEAR because that’s what 2020 feels like for me.
Cheers 🥂
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TMI: Things Moms Ignore

11/18/2019

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This might be TMI but, then again, you may need to read it. 

Today was my second colonoscopy in six weeks. I’m 48 with a family history of various cancers and was told at a well visit in March that it was time to schedule this dreaded test based on those factors. I felt fine so naturally, I filed it in my mental notes (IN THE FURTHEST FILE POSSIBLE) as something to get to eventually. We all know how that goes, right?

Over the summer, I had a first time bout of diverticulitis that landed me in the ER. The follow up to that was to schedule a colonoscopy (ok Universe, I see what you're doing) which I finally got around to doing in late September. Turns out, some polyps needed to be removed.  My doctor also informed me that while they were benign, they were the type to cause cancer if ignored. Additionally, there was another more complicated polyp that would require a specialist to remove. That was today.

Looking back, I’m grateful for my summertime ER visit because had that not happened, chances are I may not have scheduled a colonoscopy and what I didn’t know could’ve really hurt me. 

Friends, is there an appointment you’ve been putting off because you feel fine or maybe you’re nervous, embarrassed or afraid or perhaps you’re telling yourself a story about not having time? Love yourself enough to schedule it. You just might be saving your own life.

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